Ask An Eddie: Attention Deficit and Relationship Problems

Welcome to our third edition of Ask An Eddie. We love receiving your questions and helping out fellow classmates. Remember, you can send us questions any time and we will answer you, no matter the question…we did talk about underwear in the first edition. Worried about a friend? Ask An Eddie! Struggling to find the perfect way to study? Ask An Eddie! You can leave a comment below or even send an email to AskAnEddie@gmail.com everything will remain anonymous unless you grant permission otherwise. Don’t be shy!

1) Dear Ask An Eddie,

I am an attention hog at best. How might I be able to fix this so that I’m not depressed the next time my friends inevitably talk to someone else instead of me?

-Blaze

Dear Blaze,

I have a friend exactly like you and I have tried to help her a lot. Do you feel as though you’re being ignored, or just that you feel they should be paying more attention to you? Everyone loves it when someone pays attention to them, but sadly we can’t have that all the time. If it makes it feel as though you are being ignored maybe talk to your friends about it, but you also need to sometimes just take a step back and realize that all of your friends and their friends are equal and sometimes you won’t be the main focus. There really isn’t exactly a way to fix that problem. It’s something you personally need to work on. Talk to your friends about it or when it happens instead of feeling depressed just remember that they still care about you and they will pay attention to you. Don’t be sad, be happy. I promise once you realize that there really isn’t anything to feel down about things will be better for you.

-A

Dear Blaze,

I don’t know if there really is a way to completely fix it. But I think it would help for you to understand that during high school, your friends will definitely meet other people and make other friends. That doesn’t mean that you mean less to them or that they won’t be paying attention to you anymore. But if you really do feel that way, talk to your friend or friends about it for reassurance. If they’re good friends, they’ll do what they can to make you not feel neglected. It’ll be okay.

-M

2) Dear Eddies Advice,

My friend recently got broken up with from her long-term boyfriend of 5 years and even though he was a terrible boyfriend, she was devastated. Everyone comforted her and eventually she got back on her feet and attempted to move on. She was laughing, hanging with friends, and having fun. She even met someone new. She knew she still had feelings for her ex, but thinks the new guy is perfect and everything she wants in a man and relationship. She revealed her ex had cheated on her more than 3 times, but she broke up with the new guy for him. All her ex does is hurt her. We explain to her what will happen if she goes back and she actually listened and backed off of him. But he knows all the right things to say and they have so much history. She would call friends literally everyday crying because of something he said or did and now she has hurt the new guy even though she promised she never would. How can we help her see she’s making the wrong choices?

-Making Wrong Choices

Dear Making Wrong Choices,

That sounds like a pretty rough situation. Unfortunately, there is no definite way to make someone realize their mistakes and that what they’re doing is wrong. Sometimes, the best thing a friend can do is to be there to catch the other when they fall. Try sitting down with her and talking to her. Or if things are really bad, get a group of friends who agree with you and talk to her. I’m sorry things are weird, but there really isn’t a way to fix this issue except trying your best and be there for her when she needs it. I have seen a couple go through this and they both have a lot of things to work out, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I tried talking to each of them telling them that things weren’t right and that maybe they needed time, but in the end it’s their choice and they chose not to fix things so the only thing I can do is be there when one of them needs me. I hope things at least get somewhat better for all the parties and just remember to stay strong and try to be a good friend.

-A

3) Dear Eddies Advice,

My friend thinks drinking is cool. All she ever talks about is alcohol. She makes plans, although never keeps them, and lies about her drinking experiences to make a good impression. How can I show her that alcohol is not only illegal but it’s not cool? She says everyone wants to do it, but she only knows three people who enjoy drinking while everyone else thinks it’s a waste of time. Help!

-Drinking probs

Dear Drinking Probs,

The sad thing about high school is that sometimes friends change and do things that are bad for them and illegal in order to seem cool. There isn’t much you can do other than continue being the best friend you can be and trying to convince her to change. It sounds like you’re already trying and it isn’t working out, though. I’ve experienced something like this and I would suggest that you have hope that she’ll realize that it isn’t “cool” on her own and grow out of it. Good luck, do what you can, but don’t be upset with yourself if you can’t fix it.

-M

Dear Drinking Probs,

My best friend is the same way, but with smoking. She doesn’t do it because she enjoys it, she does it to fit in and be cool because if everyone else is doing it she feels she has to as well. She won’t go out and do it on her own though, only when others are around and she is offered some. It bothers me because she knows I don’t approve and there is a lot she wants to do, but this will ruin it for her. It’s the same thing with drinking, it’s not fair and you want your friends to realize that it’s not okay and that you want them to stop, but a lot of the times they won’t listen.

Try sitting down one on one with her and letting her know that you care about her too much to see her do that to herself. If she doesn’t listen, as harsh as this sounds, let her destroy her body and life like that. Also try to get an adult’s attention if you’re that concerned. The best thing for you is to try your best and just be there when she needs you. That’s what my friend does. She does her own thing and I don’t agree with any of it, but when she is hurt I am always there for her because I know she needs someone and that’s the best I really can do. I hope things can work out, but don’t be too disappointed if things don’t work out the way you hope.

-A

4) Dear Eddies Advice,

My friend recently cheated on her boyfriend and claims its not her fault because she got a little bit high, but he forgave her anyways. Now she thinks cheating isn’t a big deal. How can I explain to her that cheating is wrong and most definitely a big deal?

-Sally

Dear Sally,

Fortunately, you aren’t her boyfriend. Though you don’t agree with her new perspective on cheating, it doesn’t really affect you that much so you should probably just leave it alone. I really don’t know what I could tell you on how to convince her, and bringing it up might just offend her, so the only advice I can give is to leave it alone and have faith that she’ll learn from her mistakes later.

-M

Dear Sally,

It’s true. You aren’t a part of the relationship and it’s sad to see the way some couples treat one another, but all you can really do is just let it be. You have your views on cheating and she will have hers. Is she in the wrong? I believe so, but some others might not. The best you can do is not encourage it and if she tries talking about it or something tell her you don’t want to hear it. I have two friends who constantly cheat on each other. My friend found out and now her excuse is that well, if he did, so can she. Whenever she tries talking about this guy I just straight up tell her that I’m not going to sit here and listen to it so we move on. I’m sorry that we couldn’t give you a way to stop this or fix the problem, but sadly it’s the way life works. Just hope she realizes her mistakes before things get too serious and try to stick by her the best you can.

-A

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